That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
