She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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