I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
