someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
