How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
