She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
