Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
