I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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