I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My liver just had a heart attack.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
