sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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