I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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