if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
