fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just googled if crying burns calories
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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