smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
