You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
