my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
