walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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