We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
