Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Randomize
