I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
