Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
