I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
