We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
