Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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