Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
