is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
