...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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