The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
