Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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