38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
