What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
