U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
