Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
