I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
