do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
