I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
