Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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