Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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