pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
