its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we're making bets on your personal life
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
