I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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