Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
