sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
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