Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
