All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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