and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
