Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Randomize