First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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