im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
