im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
