You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
